Do a search around the internet and you'll see hundreds, thousands of articles on various aspects of love. Everyone is talking about love, discussing it, analyzing it. But what exactly IS "love" anyway? Is it the sense of wanting to be around a person and be closer to them? No, that would describe the feeling of ATTRACTION, not love. Is wanting to have sex with someone "love"? No, that is called LUST. Is desiring good things and wishing well on someone "love"? No, that is CARING. Is wanting to hold, touch, and be intimate with another person "love"? No, that is something else called AFFECTION.
So what exactly is this thing called LOVE?!?!?!
Everyone talks about, everyone seems to know what it is, but no one can define. I'll take a stab at it.
In it's most simplest form "love" is about GIVING. But it's not just the idea of giving on its own. There is another part to the equation. To be more specific, I will define love as the act and/or desire to GIVE more than one TAKES. For example, loving parents give selflessly to their children, family members help their loved ones in times of crisis, people who love their community donate their time and resources to volunteer, and people in truly loving relationships are there to help each other throughout life.
The important thing to understand is that it selfless giving. It is giving without requiring or expecting anything in return. If you give with the expectation of getting as much or more than you put in, than that is not love.
Here's a good way to understand the differences:
LOVE= giving more than one gets vs. EGO= giving less than one gets
LOVE= giving with no expectation in return vs. MANIPULATION= giving only with the expectation of getting something back in return
Often people complain of our EGOcentric society. What does that mean? It means people want more from life than they put in. They want things to revolve around them, they are preoccupied with themselves and what other people can do for them. That is the essence of giving less than one expects to get and is the root of egotism. Love is the opposite. Love is about stepping outside of yourself and noticing others around you and wanting to give, to help them in any way that you can. Love is SELFLESS, while ego is SELFISH.
What of the situations where someone readily gives, but only with the expectation of return gain? That is MANIPULATION. For example, if a man buys a woman expensive gifts and takes her to fancy places with the expectation of sex, then he is manipulating her. Conversely, if a woman gives her time and physical intimacy to a man with the expectation of nice gifts and fancy vacation, that is manipulation as well. Only when a man gives to a woman out of appreciation for her and with no expectation, then that is the beginning of a loving relationship. Only when a woman gives her time, intimacy and affection to a man out of appreciation for him and with no expectation, then that is the beginning of a loving relationship.
Many people have tried to define love. I think this is the best definition that can be come up with.
http://relationshiplaboratory.com/what-is-love/
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